Dear Diary [Entry #2]

I feel as though with no drama there is nothing for me to ponder over during the long and tedious hours. My mind constantly tries to un-wean itself from the one to whom I am terribly attracted. My physical yearns desperately to press itself against another just because. My essence though. My essence questions this atrocious behavior in the most direct manner. Why are you doing this? Where do these acts stem from? I feel fine on the outside but underneath I am drowning in a sea of answers. Only I don't know which answers are mine. I don't know which crest and trough is mine to follow and I fight violently against each. Or maybe I do know to which I belong but subconsciously I rather starve my lungs and fall deeper than accept the help of the current of which a despise the most.