A Prayer For Strength, Protection, and Forgiveness

I didn't want to disturb my roommate with my murmuring so decided to write out my prayer instead.

"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for what you've done and what you're doing. I ask that you protect me while I'm sleeping. Protect everyone in Suite 430 and 450 and just everyone in the University in general. I ask that you me the strength and guidance to avoid any situations that will make me have any regrets. I ask that you give everyone the strength to avoid doing anything they don't want to. Lord I just ask to not be in anymore of these situations. Also I ask for your forgiveness. In your name I pray, Amen"

It might be obvious that something happened this weekend that I regret but I feel as though that's a story for another time when I can come to terms with it. Until then though

So Jumbled Up

I'm so stressed out right now. I've failed multiple exams so far and I'm scared that I'll lose my scholarship. Then my so called friend (Uglies Dream) stole my glasses because he thought'd it'd be funny (I feel strongly about this because I couldn't see the board in any of my classes, so I couldn't take notes, so I'm going to fail my other exams as well) and we got into an argument because he doesn't think he was wrong. Then my text-conversations with That Boy! are fine but we never have face-to-face conversations so I feel like everything is going nowhere and everyone keeps making fun of me or talking bad about him and I'm just like "Just make it stop. Make everything stop." I think I'm going home tomorrow. I just need a break and I can't deal with everything right now. Everything's about to blow. How do I know? Every little thing that happens is annoying me. I definitely need a break. I just want to pull out my hair, Or maybe I should stay here and attempt to relax myself somehow. I don't know. I honestly just wish there was someone over here that I could talk to. I think I'm losing it. I need to go for a swim.

The Blogger

She sat in the Administrator's Office waiting patiently for him to come. She checked her pocket watch 5 times every second. She looked out the window to her dormitory where her laptop sat. She had 3 exams this week but all she could think about was her blog. She hadn't blogged in weeks because she was so busy. She thought back to her previous posts. Were anyone reading them? If she knew someone was reading her posts that would be enough to carry her through the days. It's been so long since she actually told anyone about all her problems and keeping everything inside was killing her. Suddenly the doors opened and her heart skipped a beat. A woman in a black pencil skirt and graying hair walked through.
"I'm sorry ma'am, can you come back later? It seems he hasn't come in today." She looked away sadly and swallowed the lump in her throat. The sadness was too great. At least there was something to blog about now.

Right Now by Rihanna

Right Now?
I'm just chilling. Literally. I'm by the beach at night and its freezing cold. It's mysteriously starry so it's the perfect place for inspiration with my story (A Dark Love on Wattpad). I'm also out here just to clear my head. I don't necessarily want to be alone but I didn't want to stay where I was. Just somewhere different. Someone to talk to would be great too. Like my best-friend from home. That'd be cool. I kinda want to go skinny dipping but I'll save that for another day.

Guess what.

Volleyball season started and I love it. Even if we lose. I'm so excited for our next game. Also I got a tattoo and it's pretty fucking awesome. It's on my calf and it's truly a great form of self-expression. I guess it's time to go back to my room. I'm getting sand everywhere. But first, I'll stare out at the ocean and think about everything that's important to me at this point in time. Then I'll look up at the sky and ask myself, is everything that I'm doing now for them worth it?

Time To Make Some Decisions

Hey Everybody!

So I've been missing lately and its because I've had a lot of things on my plate. First of all, my friend, the "hot" one from my Uglies dream, and I have been talking and he likes me. He's liked me for some time now and a long time ago I liked him too but now, sometimes I'd feel the same way and sometimes I didn't. Obviously this was a problem. Sometimes we were like a couple and sometimes I just felt like we should stay friends. Then I realized, its probably not that I like him, I just miss being in a relationship and I shouldn't let that affect whether I like a person or not. You would think that with my tastes I'd like him right. I mean he's really cool and I like hanging out with him but I just don't feel the same way. I never wanted to tell him this though because I didn't want to lose him as a friend but I can't keep stringing him along you know. My not liking him has nothing to do with the fact that I still like that other guy not. I'll call him That Boy! I'm talking to That Boy! again and we get along greatly. I first texted him again when we were at a game and he tumbled. Like serious tumble. Like Scarlet Takes A Tumble kind of tumble. I was like "Oh my shit are you okay?" and next thing I know we're talking again. I love it though. My friend is always calling him a dick though. Like serious not-likeage of That Boy! He actually told me why he does though. He said "I don't really get jealous [I scoffed]. I'm serious, the only reason why I am now is because I don't have you so you can go anytime you want." It was incredibly sweet but then I felt terrible. Also one of my super close friends in the suite likes him too and I feel so bad that I'm stringing him along. So I guess it's time now to cut that string and hope for the best. Also try to get everyone used to the idea of myself talking to That Boy! and get them to stop thinking he's a total dick (for some odd reason that I had nothing to do with).