Boys are stupid. A doesn't want to talk to me and I don't blame him but I'm still hurt by it. I talked to him about everything and he said its okay but thats basically the last that we've texted. I don't even know if I like him or not but I do know I feel terrible about everything. Also, here's a funny side story. That super-awesome-amazing guy I was talking about has a girlfriend. I was only around for sex. I really though he was a sweet guy you know. We've known each other for years. Years. Thanks, you really made my goddamn day. This sounds a little sad and depressing but it's raining outside and I'm listening to I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace and it's on repeat. Also I might be on the verge of tears but I'm not sure because I'm so bad at expressing myself. He actually texted me today but I just couldn't answer back. I just can't. I'm just a hot mess. And I as I sit here trying to not destroy my keyboard with tiny drops of water that rain down from my eyeballs, I think to myself, I probably deserve this but just ten times worse. But that's okay because I'm just going to pick myself up and keep going.
I've actually made up my mind about something. I'm not going to get together or do anything with anyone until it's a burning desire. Until its all I can think about and I feel terribly strong about it.
Also one of my friend's told me I push guys away when they care about me. I think about most of my exes and I start to think "Maybe she's right..." Too bad that information doesn't help me now. I'm just about finished with guys.
I don't even know what the moral of this story is. I'll just sit down here by myself in the middle of the night terribly confused.
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