I Can't Explain This Feeling

     It's been a while I know but I'm here. Exams are finally over I'm finally home. Also I've finally taken a step in my love life. I don't know which direction but it's a step nonetheless. I've admitted to myself that I do have some type of feelings for my guy friend from my Uglies dream. I guess if I really looked into the dream at the time I would have realized that it meant everyone had to get surgery to make them beautiful but you didn't need the surgery or something like that. I don't know exactly what I'm doing or where I'm going with this but I know it's going somewhere.
    The only thing is, once we were listening to Hanging On by Ellie Goulding from the God of War Ascension trailer and he kissed me and I started to cry. Like tears just fell from my eyes slowly. It was really strange but what's even stranger is that I know why it happened. The song sounds nothing like dubstep I know but it did at one certain part, like a soft bass drop or something and that's when he kissed me and it reminded me of my ex. Not just any ex, my big ex. It was so weird. It was like I was back at his house and we were on the couch and he was playing one of his favorite dubstep songs and we were cuddling and he looked into my eyes and he kissed me. It was for like a split second and then I remembered where I was and who was there and not there and tears just started to fall. I really don't know what's happening to me. I really don't know what that was. I miss him yeah, he's more than miles away yeah but this was more than that.

I wish I knew how to explain it.